work-in-progress

Time – a rare thing we all have. You cannot stop it, speed it up, nor slow it down. However, we do experience the illusion of all of it during so many moments in our life. Time slows down when you are waiting for favorite Pizza order to arrive. The heartbeat second of adrenaline rush while cliff jumping feels like forever, elongating the small second. Or when you hold a newborn baby for the first time, everything stops. These illusions, these little moments are what makes up our lives. For centuries now, humans have programmed people to behave in a certain way or be at prominent places and act in way which is unquestionably by society. Norms set for individuals today are diverse across all possible facades.

Out of the total number of people we meet in a lifetime, a majority will say that they want to make an everlasting impact on the human race. How many take steps though? Do we do anything thru our actions to make anything here better? And all of this for what? This Earth is a doomed place, and we are the reason it is in this state. The intelligent living life on our planet is long gone, now we are merely puppets playing with technology and science. So, you run a business, you have a corporate job, you earn high salaried package, you have a boathouse, you own a bungalow; all these material needs and wants, in most of the cases, do not allow a person to acknowledge the inner self and in turn destroys peace. The definitions put forward by society for ‘happiness’ is constrained and not expandable which needs to be more flexible to mold it as per the distinct individuals. This happiness is much more sacred than those material needs.

Investing that oh-so-precious time in accumulating the substantial stuff over a lifespan has only resulted in piled layers of a labyrinth over our soul to hide what we truly are. You are not the picture which got a thousand likes, you are not the tweet which spread like wildfire, you are not the expensive car you own, you are not the brand you work for, and neither are you the education you take. Then who are you? Can you define yourself without all of these human made definitions; without attaching a degree, gender, designation, or posing as an owner of material possessions? Can you tear apart all these and strip your soul naked and then try to give an illustration to yourself? Speechless? The answers to these mysteries are within you. All you need to do is tap yourself awake, adapt to a few new tactics, seek your potential happiness, relax once a while, and explore the world around as it was meant to be.

Take yourself on a little journey back in time, those people, who lived millions of years before us, did not have any of these facilities and were in far more sense backwards, as we see it. Nonetheless, they were humans, just like you and me. These humans had far less than what we had, but the enlightenment which they experienced, the horrors of the world they saw, the difficulties faced, the knowledge derived was directly from our pure source – mother Earth. It may not be enough or the most genuine of all information sources, but it was not fabricated to the extent that you would start questioning every truth you know. 

You are here today; you will influence the few people who you meet in this generation or maybe go beyond that average if you are extraordinary and there are those exceptional souls which have the ability to be alive for millenniums through their thoughts and deeds. How would you rather have people remembering you? As the person with that huge bank balance and car or as the compassionate human being who touched many souls? The universe is vast, beyond what meets our eye. We contain stardust in us which has travelled trillions of light-years and live on an oddball rotating in space. From the tiniest atom in our body to the vast, unreachable galaxies; all are made up of the same matter. And this, my friend, is what you call Magic! 

And how do you utilize this magical gift of self? By crying over a breakup, ignoring yourself, having mundane routines, not giving yourself breaks and being stuck at one place? Not the kind of life anyone would get fascinated by, is it? Just remember, if you manage to be a significant individual making a positive impact on this whole wide world then you automatically achieve success.

Believe in that magical portion of yours. Get that job you have always wanted to. If your attempt to get what you want is negated then think of ways to create similar opportunities which will help someone in the same spot as you. Give yourself the ability to achieve unfinished, procrastinated tasks to allow yourself to have more time to concentrate on much more important things in life. God damn work for the salary, of course! But at the same time, follow those unattended dreams concealed in the corner of your heart. Do not work for yourself, work to make this planet a better place to live. Leave behind a legacy not properties and garbage. Believe in Karma, sprinkle kindness and goodness around; and that is what life will bring back to you. Be involved in experiences which money cannot buy and will have a space in your heart Do not spend your time on things which are not going to take you places or give you never before experiences; it is just not worth it. Learn to prioritize on things which will nourish your soul and feed your heart. You are work-in-progress, but you are on your way to becoming a masterpiece at the finest of all!

Not Much to offer but A Piece of Me.

When we first met, I honestly had no idea that you would be this important to me. I really hope I’m good enough for you; at times I feel otherwise. This has been a recent feeling. . that honestly petrifies me. I begin to think that you’ll find somebody else who is “sufficient”. Someone who can give you everything and anything your heart desires, someone much better than me. Maybe I’m scared to lose you because you mean more to me than any other person. You seriously are everything I think about & everything I want. .
I’m sorry I constantly want to speak to you, but can’t. I’m sorry that when you take a long time to write back, I get upset. I’m sorry I have a short temper, I’m working on it. I’m sorry I annoy you, I sincerely don’t mean to. I’m sorry if I’m not a perfect partner, but even perfection has its flaws. I’m sorry if I say things that stress you out or make you mad, that’s the last thing I’d like to do. I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk to me as badly as I’d like to speak to you. I’m sorry that we have opposing thoughts on how couples should act. I’m sorry if I think about you all the time and you don’t think much about me. I’m sorry I say hurtful things when I’m not at my highest peak. Saying sorry won’t fix much, but acknowledging my problems will. When I write things out I think more clearly about the situation & I realize what exactly I can do to grow and contribute in fixing my issues. But in the end I just want somebody who I can open up to and be myself without feeling uncomfortable. I’m a complete and utter mess, so I just want someone who actually understands me & won’t mind my random rants. I want someone who treats me like I’m special even though we both know I’m not. To tell you the truth, I don’t have much to offer you. But I still will give you everything I have, even if it’s hardly anything at all to you. I will give you: loyalty, laughter, honesty, long hugs, back rubs, my point of view, support, a good conversation, a hand to hold, someone who will always be there to listen, but most importantly LOVE & if that’s not enough, just keep in mind you’ve got all of me. I just hope that’s enough to keep you around.

I at times wonder if you ever think of me, if you ever miss me. I shouldn’t have to ask you & I shouldn’t have to wonder. You’re my girlfriend, you’re not just some random lady I kiss and fantasize about all hours of the day. A boyfriend should never be left feeling like this and having these thoughts. It just sucks to feel unwanted by the persons attention you seek the most. . the girl I love.. you baby. & I know you’re busy. I honestly understand . . but sometimes I just don’t know what you see in me, nonetheless I’m glad you see something. I’d just like you to demonstrate it more often, just like I put in effort each day to prove to you that you’re worth it. For the first time, I’ve found someone I dislike leaving, someone that I can’t get enough of. But the overwhelming feeling that “it can all be gone in just mere seconds” is horrible without the recognition of my partner. Motivating me and telling me otherwise. I hate the idea of anyone else having you. .

We had this entire conversation. The night I came over, the night i proposed you to be my girlfriend. You told me you would try to work this out. & I’ve seen very minimal effort. (Thank you so much for the effort that you have put into this. I really do appreciate it. ) My thing is just that, I never leave you wondering if I miss you. I never leave you wondering how much I love you. . Now where is that mutual compassion and understanding?
Right now, the only thing I’m certain about is that I love you. & I doubt that’s enough for you at the moment. . I’m just afraid that one day you will wake up and just say “I can do much better than him”. . but I promise you, as long as you’re trying, I’m staying. It’s not about having a picture perfect relationship. It’s about finding someone who will be there through everything without giving up & I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it. . I haven’t wanted something this bad in so long. . I can’t just let this get away without fighting to have it and keep it. I don’t want to let go of you. I just don’t. Love isn’t about whom you can see yourself with. It’s about who you can’t picture yourself without. .
& after all of this I still do love you. I love you from the tip of your toes to the tippy top of your head, for all that you are, all that you have been, and all you’re yet to be. I was told to never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about. I have that drive to work this out. I have that drive to keep on trying and trying. Now, where’s yours?

Believe in yourself and remember

Dear Life.

I'm done. I'm done with everybody's vision of what I should be doing with my life. I'm tired of acting like everybody else actually has a say in the matter, when in reality they don't. Without the constant violation of everybody's input, I need to figure out what I want and what I need in order to achieve MY goals. I want to dream big. I want the best outcome for myself. I want a fulfilled life. I need time. I need space. I need clarity. At the end of the day it is my life and no one else's, so everybody needs to hold their questions, comments and concerns and redirect them towards their own lives.

I already put so much pressure on myself to succeed.

 I'm constantly questioning myself with inquiries like,

 "How can I do better?", "What am I doing wrong? " and "Do I even have a backup plan in case things don't work out as I've planned?" Because let's face it, life doesn't always go your way, it can be a little messy and a little heavy at times.

Ralph Marston once said,"Don't lower your expectations to meet  your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations.Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality." 

Life is all about trials and tribulations, but it is also about conquering and reward. You cannot live in a constant fear of failure, but you must live in a constant state of excitement for what's yet to come

Don't ever let somebody tell you that your dreams are too big. The only person's expectations and comments that should count are the ones that you hold for yourself. You know yourself the best. You know your strengths, your weaknesses, your limits and your passion, so whatever anybody else thinks shouldn't matter. I know it is easier said than done to block out everybody's commentary, but think of how amazing you are going to feel when you prove all of the negative Nelly's in your life wrong.

I know that you are full of potential and have the drive, dedication and commitment that it takes to do whatever you decide upon. Just stay focused and block out everybody's criticisms while you only have eyes for the finish line that is your future; you are your worst critic, so what everybody else says does not matter. This is your life and only your expectations of yourself should make the strides towards your dreams.

This is your moment. Enjoy it while it is happening and don't let it all just pass you by in a haze of stress and anxiety. Don't every stop believing in yourself and remember: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Love at first sight

Dear Soulmate,

I don't think I have ever told you how

I felt the first time we meet. 

You were so cute and your deep

blue eyes we're so fascinating, 

I felt like I could lose myself in them

Your eyes we're look like deep blue ocean.  

Your blushing smile was so much adorable

 as I felt that time. 

Every eye was steering you with gaze, 

like an angel came from heaven to earth.

 I never use to believe in love at first sight, 

but that day when our eyes met, 

my heart raced and felt like it would burst out of my chest. 

It was like the home run feeling that jump over the fence feeling. 

.I was swept off my feet! and when you winked at me 

I felt like I couldn't breathe , Immediately I feel in love,

 I knew then what love at first sight felt like,

 our eyes met and there was a connection, like a

 bond I felt uniting our heart❤.  

I have been in love since that day ☀

 and still am! You will always be my first and greatest love.!

Thanks for the ☀day.

The Girl With The Long Hair

The girl with the long hair she 

has the prettiest smile,

And her beauty don't just come                     

from her great sense of style.

Her gorgeous face is something           

that I would die for.

She's the whole package there's

nothing more I can ask for.

She has the perfect skin tone

with dark black eyes.

A small waist and little thin thighs 

Her hands is sweet you know nice and smooth.

When she get around me 

Sometimes I get the blues.

She keep her hair up tight using that good shampoo.

Didn't see her feet yet but I'm sure they look good too.

I'm addicted to her it's like I'm under a spell.

I know her voice,her laugh and even her smell.

If we were both plants, she'd be a flower and

I'd be some weeds.

I get up early because to see her,

I cannot wait 

Her smile makes me smile,yeah its that great.

I will always have a thing for her,

that's just how it is,

This for the girl with the long hair,

She know who she is.........

"If not,let it be a secret "  

Fight for the life you want.

Life sucks

          That's the way it is.            

But what makes it count 

                                      is what you choose to do with it.                                   

Whether you change the

 world using paper and pen.

Or keep those words to yourself,

 when your World is breathing,

They're yours,

And nobody else's

And when you give them the access

To your soul, you admit it. 

That there's something there

Deep inside of you

That you need to release             

Even though you are fearing

The world

And it's constant, judgment

Because they're told you before

That your words are nothing

Even though the best poets

Only speak the truth

Of what they feel in their hearts

That they're scared to move

Because in their past

They thought they had something to lose,

Because they let  everyone else

Decide what they got to do.

But being a poet isn't about society

It's about being real with yourself

And sharing that privacy

For the people out there who are all alone

Who feel like they've got no hope

The feel they're going under

From waves meters high

And in their state of shock

Have forgotten how to get by

So when life sucks

I just take a deep breath

And take my broken heart out

On this paper and pen

Because there's someone else out there

Who has it worse than I

And maybe if I show them me and what's inside

When they think bad about life, it could help them to change their mind.

Hope you are doing well

DeAr LoVe,

Hope you are doing well!

It's been some time, since I have seen you, touched you, felt you by my side or sensed you; even then you have been an integral part of my life. It is not like that if we haven't been in touch, you have been out of my mind. It is you and only you who is on my mind 24*7, but certain things can always be there but cannot be together. Strange yet true!

Since the day I loved you, you became the most important part of my life. I know the mornings were yours, the evenings were yours, the dreams were yours, the songs were yours and my every breath was yours and on the top I was yours; but you were never mine. You were a stress buster to me, you were the one who could make me smile anytime, you were the one with whom I shared every detail of my life, you were the one who made me realise how beautiful love can be, you made me realise that reality is better than the dreams which were always there and I knew ‘We’ will always stay together no matter what.
But then one day, reality struck my mind and I got to realise, what all we have been going through and what has been happening in the relationship. I won’t say that I don’t miss you; I miss you more than you can ever imagine and realise. I miss you at every instance when the words like smile, love, care, happiness, being together and what not are being said in front of me. I won’t say ever that I regret being with you, I regret loving you or I regret the memories we created, it’s just a simple sentence that I want to tell you, that is ‘I Miss You’!!
Isn’t it awkward, the person I knew so well is almost unknown to me today, but that is life! Sometimes I keep remembering you for the whole day, but then I know that is what I am left with. It is not the materialistic things that remind me of you, but the real memories do. Like your words, your actions and your style; though no one else can ever replace you in my life, but if I find someone who enacts things like you, the nostalgia begins.
Sometimes the poems, couplets, the talks, the random shit, the shayeri that we created, the place which was our favourite corner of the house, the place which still reminds me constantly of ‘US’ and because of which I know I might not survive in this house anymore. On an honest note, why I fell in love with you, if someone comes and asks me this then trust me I have no reasons for the same. The reasons came later, not for love but for the constant fights, constant craving for your time and attention and deliberate attempts to win your sight and your presence. I guess whatever happened was destined, and might be we get someone whom we will never bid adieu, but right now there is a void that cannot be fulfilled by anyone but you. My heart longs, not to get loved by you but to love you, not to get pampered but pamper you, not to get intimate with you but being wanted by you, not to go ahead and decide the future but to live the present with you,
All I want to hope with this letter is that I wish you’re in good health and spirits. I wish you find that love which I could never give you, and which you longed for; like since the beginning. I am sorry I could never be your perfect partner you desired for. But I know one thing for sure, you would surely remember me and our relationship, though it was a very short period of time, but I love calling it a relationship. The reason being, I know there were no commitments, no promises and no ifs and buts; but there was sheer love which I knew definitely was. Though it was for a very small period of time, but it evidently was there. I miss you and am sure sometime, just like once in a week or month, you also miss me; miss the chirpiness, the stupid girl I used to become when I am with you and the insanity that was there when you were around. I wish those days could come back and we be together as we were at a point of time. Trust me that would have been amazing, but the irony is that fate made us come along, stay together and fate has drifted us apart. Some memoirs are there to be cherished only, but not lived with!!

With deep love and true feelings!!

Yours today, tomorrow and forever!

Unrequited Love

Love as we have heard is a two way lane. Pick up a story, any fairytale that you must have read in your early childhood… was there anything like “one-sided” love? I don’t remember any, where one person kept loving another in isolation till eternity?

Lately, our generation is seeing a trend where unrequited love is being glorified. “Dude. What you did for her, nobody else will be able to match that ever.” “Girl, he knows you love him. And he is so lucky to have you by his side.” “Your love has no match. It inspires us.” I heard this and I was like “Hold on!” On whose side are you guys even at? Did you just appreciate the act of self-less love by your friend for someone who doesn’t even deserve that kind of an act or love or support? If you have ever did this, then stop. 

The minute you appreciate these wasted efforts, you help them take another step into their self-destructive journey. There is nothing glorifying or beautiful about an unrequited love. When someone tells you “Babe, I like you…a lot but I am not sure where we are headed or what will happen to us. I want us to be together but there are too many things.”

 When you appreciate and glorify this one-sided or unrequited love of your friend answer for the above lines comes out to be “That’s fine. It is not your fault, loving you is my choice and my love for you will make things fall into place, I will love you till eternity.” If you do not see how alarming this is, then my friend you are missing out on the major point of your life. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who is unsure about you? Why would you want to make things better when the person is already giving up on you? And why, answer me it is “only your” responsibility to make him/her happy and confident about what you guys have is special. If it is special, it has to be for both of you. The answer should have been “Babe, I love you. But I can stop loving you. I was sure about us, but if you are not then I am definitely sure that I deserve better.

People don’t realize a love like this takes a lot of courage to carry forward. A love like this, will cut you open in so many ways, the healing might never happen. A love like this is a short lived glory. The Love-story becomes someone else’s. You are free to cherish the memories you guys share. Feel free to pass a smile if you ever cross paths but that should be it. The person you have fallen in love with, I am not sure what they do deserve. But I can tell you that you deserve more than all this pain, embarrassment and all this hurt you are willing to put yourself into for. 

That person is not even going to be there till end of your life, so stop wasting the good energy around them. Every person put on this earth have right to love and be loved in return. When you sign up for unrequited love you keep yourself away from the right to happiness and that is one of the meanest things that one can ever do to themselves.  So, next time, whether someone is sure about you or not, I want you to be sure of yourself and believe that you deserve better…anything but happiness!

Holding on to the memories?

When everything was said and done,

I bid her goodbye.

Not that I wanted to...

Not that I am sure if she wanted to...

But are we not suppose to hold on?

Hold on or let go...

Let go of what couldn't be, and maybe

Hold on...

Hold on to the memories.

My almost lover.

When everything was said and done,

I walk upto her...

One last time... One last hug

Or maybe, not the last for me

Will I just be a memory to her?

Will I be part of her sunny days?

Sunny or not, some days maybe...

But why does this heart of mine,

Still holds on?

A bird I know once fell in love with a fish…

One day a bird I know fell in love with a fish. The bird was meant to fly high and the fish swims in deep waters. The fish will die if he is pulled out of waters and the bird if she doesn’t fly… there will be no purpose to her life. So, the million dollar question was “How do they meet?”

An African proverb has it, “A fish and a bird may fall in love…but the two cannot build a home together.”

Curious about what happened in real life?

Blinded by love, the bird answered “What if, I build a nest near to the pond you are living in. What if, you swim and I follow you. May it be a pond, lake, river, the oceans, wherever. What if, I drink and bathe in the water you live in. Will that not be the purest form of love? Even if you decide to be a fish in someone’s fishbowl, let me be the bird in their cage. All I wish is to see your smiling face, steal a kiss or two and be with you till death do us apart. All you have to do is Just Stay! Because if you love me the same way I do. I will make a way to be with you.” and the fish chose life!

The bird was determined that this time its love. Ready to give up its freedom of flight the bird built a nest on the tree near the pond. For a mere glance of its love the bird would wait for days. The fish would sometimes come and sometimes not but the bird never gave up. She saw from a distance how the fish would swim, how he would be happy to make a swinging dive and the ripples it creates on the surface of the pond. The bird would sing entire day in a belief that the song would reach the heart of the fish and someday it might melt again. The bird stuck at one place, grew weaker day by day and the strength of her wings got frail.

Winters broke, seasons went by. One fine day it rained. It poured cats and dogs, water everywhere. When other birds were finding stronger shelters, our little bird sat there on the branch singing its heart out for her beloved fish. She was sure that her death will take her to the depths to her lover and this might be the ultimate union. The bird thought that might be this was the only way her soul will be free again.

The rains wouldn’t stop, the little nest did not stand a chance against the heavy rains and while it fell in the raging water it took the bird along. The bird was showing no sign of slightest attempt to get off the waters. Her wings were drenched when suddenly she heard a screaming. A strong bird on the other side was continuously throwing strong twigs for our bird. He peaked her by the wings and missed. the current was too strong and he was trying hard to get our birdie off the water, to save it from death. He flew high got another twig and again threw it in water. Again, flew high and repeated it endlessly when suddenly he got her attention. The bird saw in his eyes the deepest efforts someone has ever done to save her and that too risking his own life.

Our bird who showed no signs of fighting for her life, gathered all her courage and tried to pull herself out of the water, the wings were weak and drenched. One last time, she turned around and looked for the fish but couldn’t see him anywhere near. The bird trying to save her kept on screaming and gathering twigs with utmost zeal to make her survive. So, she tried again and failed but she tried again. She wanted to try again for this strange bird who was ready to die for her and she made that final effort as he grabbed her by her wings and they flied together looking for a dry land.

An year later, our birds now have a new nest deep in the forest away from the pond. They sing together, the same song and listen to what they have to say. They are very much in love. There is just one life for each one of us and “to be loved” by someone is the only happy ending for the story

All we need is Love ❤💞

                                             All we need is Love ❤💞

You are in love with the concept of love. And being a mortal, even if we do not accept it. Deep inside we all know how we love being someone's center of the world. So the butterflies in your tummy, the sparkle in your eyes and the undying dream of a happily ever after. Let me tell you, It's all true. And one day. It will all come true. 

No matter how crappy the day is,
You will walk down into a happy home filled with love.
He will ask you how your day was.
He will wait to have dinner with you.
You will let go off the baggage with him.
He will ask you if you ate. He will check up on you.
And sometimes will drop by the office to surprise you.
He will get you a rose just to see how it lifts up your mood.
He will correct you in silence and teach you what patience is.
And he will do everything right, even if you call him mushy.
Once in a while he will open the door for you like your favorite characters from romantic movies.
Plan that surprise trip even if you end up arguing.
Go on. Call him corny. 

But he will do this for you. And mind you. Only you!
It will in this lifetime and you will sit and think of the guy who wrote this on a Valentine's Day trying to mend your broken pieces and trying to summon the courage to ask you out on a coffee date.
"Where do we start from?"
Or
"You want me recite again?".............................

Happiness....?

Happiness is a state of mind. I came across this quote via google. Before that, I had just listened to people who used it in a regular dialogue. I do not know where the quote comes from so, I leave that work for my fellow readers to enlighten me. Trust me! I love people who adds up to my content.

For people who think happiness is subjective. I would like to disagree. Happiness is subjective for people who have tied it to a certain goal. “I will be happy when I get a loneliness” “I  will be happy when I travel this country.” “I will be happy when I have this someone in my life.” “I will be happy when my turnover is in trillions” Despite of the what if, I just want you to separate these two for once and see. It is nobody’s fault that we tie our happiness with goals that is what we have been taught all our lives, that is how most of us were raised. Remember the infamous questions like “Why are your grades not as good as Sharmaji’s kids?” they kept on asking, we kept on answering. Only with the grinding of life the questions grew harder and we got accustomed to the things being thrown our way. “A 7 figure salary, luxurious villa, beautiful spouse, second home and 3-4 cars” I will retire happy when I am done with these.

Were you ever told as a kid you will be happy “when you get that toy?” Well most of the kids I have come across are happy. It is only when they get a gift, a toy, a dress that level of happiness elevates. “I will be happy” – “I am happy”. These 2 sentences when believed with zero conditions applied can do wonders to your mental health. Of course there will be low days. None of us can stop a heartbreak, loss of a friend, bad day at work coming in your way, if it is already destined. But, these lines at such odds too can promise you a bright smile.

Trying to prove everyone wrong, we have wronged ourselves at so many levels that to half of you it will not even make sense. But, more than reading this piece needs understanding. Share with the people you care. And simply decide to be happy. Everything else will come our way.😇