Dear Heart,
Are you still there ? If yes, then why can’t I feel you beating anymore?
When I sit back and relax, lost into oblivion I come back to the only sound of you, beating in this melancholy room of mine. So you are there somewhere. But why can’t I feel you?
I do remember how joyous it was, at times when I felt this adrenaline rush, looking or talking about my favorite things. You reminded me that I am alive each day. Remember that time when I was driving for the first time ? The first accident I had? It was frightening. You were so scared, what if someone is killed? Then the time I was Bunjee jumping in rishikesh? You beated so fast I thought for once you will leave my body and start running for a marathon instead. Also, how can I forget the first time you fell in love with another. Every time you saw her, you skipped a beat. Irregularities. Then she smiled and you were on 7th heaven. 2 hearts in love.
The first time you broke. I thought I won’t be able to save you. Repairing you took time and so many efforts. I took you to meet new hearts, I tried more things to keep you busy, you became inquisitive and I tried to keep you engrossed in reading, learning and trying to figure out what you want for yourself.
With time, you came to realise that you are broke. But it’s not that you can’t be fixed. So you started beating again this time with a reassurance. You became so kind and so giving. You my dear were open to anything but calmness. You started healing and mending other hearts. You were ear to all. Though you moved on with an empty space and a scar, you never blamed others for it. I know it’s been a lot many years and I do realize the scars have now absolutely deformed your appearance on things. You don’t say much but sit and observe. You still are giving. You still nurture people. You without even trying have become an idol to many. But I get scared when you shun hearts that beat for you.
Lately every heart who said it wanted to beat for you forever. You ran away from them like you have seen some ghost in disguise. It seems you have given up on everything it seems. Have you? Prove me wrong. One of the hearts told me “something in you is dead” And from then, I am missing you more. Are you really dead? Is it true that you will never beat again? Because if it is, then it is very alarming. Not because, the butterflies in my tummy wants to fly again but a heart like yours deserves more. If you are listening then make a note of it. It’s fine if you are resting. If you want some space. It’s fine if you want to take some time off. But do wake up from the dead and try to make amends like we did the first time and every other time. Even if we are getting old I must tell you, I am dying for you to skip a beat again.
With love,
A Part of you.–
